Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A Garden Elaborated on

I wrote A Garden in an attempt to pull my thoughts together on something that has been on my mind as of the past few days. Why is it that sometimes moms just cant pull it together? So much so that dad and probably the whole family just are miserable. As I stand outside looking in I can see the areas that need tending, I can see changes that could be made to make the situation much better. Of course just in the physical realm because we all are a work in progress in the spiritual realm.

I want to say that I do not have it all together, I am far from perfect...but I think I have a pretty good understanding of what it takes to keep a home with a bustling family. Aside from just being an example how do you help a mom that is in need of frankly some "suck it up girl and get to work" kind of encouragement? I sometimes wonder if you can. It hurts me to see families in a tail spin. Dads tired of coming home to disrespectful children and a messy home.

Interestingly enough one of the overlying factors in both cases was stuff. The stuff clutters their homes and their minds and lets face it when you have a large family sometimes just bodies can clutter up a room, never mind material clutter. I don't know what the answer is, perhaps theres not one. My personality is to help them fix it, but in reality it would not stay fixed unless they learn the tools themselves. How do we help these moms? Any ideas?


motherofmany said...

Very good question. I agree that often the trouble is 'stuff', but what do you tell someone who's husband will not let her get rid of any of the 'stuff'? What if he is the one who wants to keep it all, not understanding that it is part of the problem in why his home is so harried? Men are much more sentimental and emotional than most people will give them credit for, and often they have a very hard time accepting change.

Audrey said...

I happen to have one of those husbands. He has 100 shirts in his closet that he will admit that he will probably never wear, but he wont let me thin them out. I also have a husband who will keep broken tools, holey shirts, pants etc...because they are comfy.

Now my hubby is not one to buy alot of stuff, actually he realy doesnt buy much of anything frivilous, so perhaps that means he contributes less stuff.

If it were me and I know it easier said than done, is make the best of it. First talk with him and if he just wont budge on the issue, than organize, organize and organize somemore.

If I know that my husband doesnt need something and it has been shoved into a corner somewhere for a few years (or less) its very possible that it can just come up missing ;-) although that hasnt happened in quite sometime. I think I cleared out alot within the first five years of our marriage.

motherofmany said...

My husband is the same way, but at least he doesn't buy things to add to the pile. I feel bad for women who cannot even keep track of the stuff already there and he brings home more.

I have had things disappear as well! ;) Most recently, the chipped plaster bust of John F Kennedy. I noticed if I put something in a bag for a year and then say "See, you didn't even miss it" he'll say "I was wondering where that went!" Yeah, right!

Oh that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever! Duet 5:29