Monday, February 27, 2006

Well, it depends on how you look at it

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.

In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

I am the only child of my dad and mom together. I actually have 4 siblings. One from my mom and her husband before my father, a sister from my dad and his wife after my mom, and 2 more from his NEXT marriage...which to his defense has lasted 17 years. Shew....Im exhausted now!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

In hiding

Well, not really hiding...just having a brain rest the past few days. You know when the brain is in overload and you must "dump" the "frills" for a while. Happens every few months or so. But I am slowly getting back to the extra curricular activities such as blogging.

I love watching my husband with his daughter. We have had those discussions (when we had only boys)about how he would treat a girl. Such as not throwing her down with a body slam then getting her in an arm bar or head lock. He claimed he would, and I counter claimed with a "you better not!" She is only 9 months right now, so no these things have not taken place yet, but what did take place this weekend was quite funny. My manly, motorcycle riding, do-rag-wearin, "nothing feminine about me" husband was teaching my daughter how to wave like she had just won a beauty pageant.
He held up his hand with his fingers held together and got that rist a-movin back and forth. I thought he was kidding around, but after about 5 minutes of him diligently trying to get her to mock his hand movements, I was rolling...inside of course...I couldn't dent his manliness and plus it was to cute to ruin it by pointing out that he was doing better than any pageant winner I had ever seen. But I figure she will need to have that wave down eventually....what do you think? LOL

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Scratch That

It is now Sunday and a brisk 26 degrees. We only heat half of our house because it would be to costly to heat it all and so the kids are getting restless, and dad is getting restless and mom is tired of all the restlessness!! And I half to go now because I am sitting in the library which is NOT heated and my fingers are beginning to go knumb! Yall keep warm!

Friday, February 17, 2006


Yep, just so you know it is cold today, 38 right now. I much preferred yesterday...can I have yesterday tommorow?

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I'm red faced

No not embarrassed....HOT! It is 80 here today so we went to the park this afternoon. We are all hot and tired and sweaty.

And tomorrow the forecast calls for 30-40 degrees, with a possibility of ice. Only in Texas can you have summer one day and the dead of winter the next.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

So I did it

I finally went to work out at our local Y. I have had a membership there for the last 4 months and have gone twice, with no kids. Yes sad, considering the state of my backside. To here "it" tell it I should be there every time the doors open.

So my friend here in town met me there (with her 6 kids) and we swooped down on the poor unsuspecting child care worker like a swarm of locusts. You should have seen the look of confusion on her face as the 2 of us walked in with our 12 kids all of them under 10.

She sits there for a minute in silence, then says the first thing she can think of, "These kids need to have memberships, you cant bring your neighbors kids." Um, OK well these are our kids. Yah, nice try... but you cant weasel out of it that easy lady.

So then she says "well, you ladies need some time to go relax" RELAX?!? I could probably think of 100 other places I would be right now if I were wanting to relax.
And why is it that people assume that if you have more than 1.2 children you must be in need of time "away"? Is it common for people to have many children and subsequently spend there days trying to get away from them? I happen to enjoy being around my children all the time, of course I do like a little privacy in the JON, but that's a distant dream and forgotten luxury. And apparently we get some free time due to the new addition every 19 months or so.

So we did get some working out done, on the torcher devices(ie: Nautical Machines). I found muscles I had forgotten about, and they seemed to be mad at me for waking them up. All in all, it wasn't a horrible experience although I might feel differently in the morning.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The Reasons Why....

....I love my husband

1) He married me....a long story and enough said! LOL

2) He has given me 6 awesome children, even though he would have been happy having only 1.

3) He has left the Urologists office twice over the past 5 years because he knew I would be really sad, even though I told him to do what he felt he needed to do.

4) He will be late for work just because he sat in bed and rubbed my back for 30 minutes that morning, and didn't expect anything in return...although Im sure he wouldn't have objected ;-)

5) He tries really hard to never hurt my feelings and 95% of the time succeeds!

6) He tells me Im beautiful and that he loves me just the way I am (the extra 20 lbs and all) And I believe him! LOL

7) The way he smiles at the children, with that glow in his eyes, and sometimes they well up with tears, but I don't ever let him know I see it.

8) Because he writes me sweet letters when it isn't Valentines day, letters like this one he wrote last summer....

Audrey, Its lunch right now and Im thinking a lot about us, you more than me. I need to tell you how blessed I feel. I have a marriage most would love to be in. I have 5 beautiful children, who are so different from one another. I have you, a woman who takes on so much everyday and still never takes anything out on me. You are an extraordinary person. I could never tell you how important you are to me. We have become one person it seems. I want the rest of my life to be with you. I want us to raise a family we are proud of. Even if we have to adjust the people in our lives. I love you and are proud to be with you. I could never see me having anyone else in my life. You are who I open my eyes to in the morning and close them to at night. I want to be everything you need. Thank you for my life, my children and my future.
I love You, Rob

Do you need a tissue? I sure do. I found this note while cleaning out something yesterday. It is amazing how I could even forget something so sweet, but as life gets messy and busy it gets pushed to the side. What a great man I have!

Monday, February 13, 2006

So here's my theory......

So to my best recolection it was only 2 weeks ago that we did this room cleaning thing. Because quite frankly I cant seem to breath real well when the house is a mess. I know a clean house and 5 boys do not go together real well, but the kids know that I am a clutter-aphobic and they try there best to not make to much of a mess. Oh who am I kidding? Any way the way we clean there rooms is they pull all the toys that are not in their designated places to the middle of the floor. So do you see all those toys? I had three trash bags full of toys two weeks ago...where did all these come from? We have had no birthdays, no Mc'y D toys, so what gives? Well I think they must procreate in the dark hours of the night as we all are sleeping peacfully. I saw Toy story..oh say...528 gazzilion times...I know what they do when no one is looking. So two hours later and ME doing 85% of the work I can breath again.

Although, there was one very interesting science experiment that we found and after very close evaluations from all children we decided it was a carrot. What do you think?

That is just one of the many perks of having 5 sons. Who would have ever thought that that is what a carrot looks like after being shoved under a bed for 2 weeks. I am so lucky. And if you want I can post the picturs of the tarantula and the 2 brown toads and the rock and metal collections, and the many mechanical "pieces" of toys that were lovingly taken apart and the bathroom floor around the toilet....I guess thats where I am heading next...wish me luck!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Just another day in the life of me...haha

So I am sitting in the library gathering up stuff for math when I hear a very distressed said...the dreaded..."FIRE" I run to the kitchen only to find that my whole doorway leading to the laundry room and the ceiling are engulfed in flames. HOT, ORANGE, BELLOWING FLAMES. I decide at that moment that the fire is to big and I would not have time to put it out, my only choice was to run upstairs, grab the napping children, and gather all the other kids up and GET OUT!

I had come to the sad conclusion that I was about to loose my house. Now for those of you who know anything about these large old houses, they go up quick so I had no time to loose. I found Jordan and he escorted the 2, and 4 year old outside, and I had the baby. Now where was Seth and Devon? I hand Eve off to Jordan and run back in to see where they are. By this time the smoke is so bad it is really hard to breath, I run into the kitchen to grab one last look and to see if maybe I could do anything at all to put it out. I enter the kitchen and behind all the smoke is my 10 year old son. He had seen the flames from the back yard, through the window....he grabbed the water hose, pulled it into our house and started spraying the fire, by the time I had gotten back in HE HAD PUT IT OUT!!!!

My whole world went from my house is fixing to burn down, to my son has just saved our home. I was never so happy n my whole life to see my child spraying a water hose inside the house. And this all coming from the last of my children that I ever would have thought could make this kind of decision in such a fast way. This is the kid who takes an hour to read 1 page. HE DID AWESOME! And we are so happy that Devon saved our home. He really did had he not made that choice, I would not be sitting here typing this right now.

Well its been 6 hours and I have calmed back down. Its really weird that the aftermath does not look as bad as it did while it was actually on fire, but I can assure you it was terrifying! So thank you Devon and Jordan to for the quick life changing decisions you made today! I love you!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Wisdom at its best!

I read this today over at The Broken Messengers blog. This sums up everything I think about what state our "religion" Christianity is in. I can only pray that we wake up and see the truth!

Forgive yourself! Jesus forgives you! So just forget about your wretched state as you live on in victory. Victory, of course, is that the devil has been defeated. And “defeated” means he’s completely powerless so that while you are assaulted with temptation to commit every kind of sin, you nevertheless can forget them, sweep them aside and put the idea of your own sin as far from your mind as possible in order begin a life where taking up your cross for Christ is defending the “Great New Evangelical Political Cause” or promoting the latest program that is a sure fire catalyst to a modern day “Great Awakening.”

Your life looks no different than everyone else in the world? No problem. You are in bondage to a certain sin or to a host of them? Forget about it. You work hard to rule keep and hide your envy, lusts and bitterness (when it doesn’t slip out accidently that is) so that the world sees your “righteousness?” Right on good brother, keep at it, and don’t forget to pray daily for wealth, personal security and over everything you fear losing! And so the drumbeat of modern evangelical thought goes on: wash thoroughly, rinse, and repeat.

And almost no one is asking questions. No one is wondering why a nation that self-identifies itself as being 80%+ believers of a God, 60%+ Christian and over 33% as born again believers is mired in apathy, hypocrisy and indifference. No one wonders why this “Christian nation” is filled with homogenized earthly pleasure seekers that fills the nation’s pews so that weekly fresh promises to live better lives for Jesus can be professed (all the while, they have inwardly convinced themselves they will fail again, just as before). And so it is that from the pew they run for comfort to the many cares of the world, and every appeasing doctrine, to find solace from every challenge or warning that pricks their conscience.

But it’s okay. Speaking the right slogans, saying the right things, conjuring the right emotions and professing Jesus is all that matters. Speak Jesus and therefore you believe. Confess Jesus and therefore you will go to heaven, no matter what life you live in wake of this confession. Even though we’ve read some scary passages together, it really does not matter what you believe and desire to hold alongside him. We have freedom in Christ! Therefore, there is no real expectation as to how we might live in our faith to him.

That, unfortunately, is the party line today, and the doctrine is treated as impervious as granite and is as chiseled in stone as the Law of Moses.

So you say, “Forgive yourself!” Why on earth do I have to forgive myself? What value is there in me forgiving myself? I, a sinner, am now going to forgive my sinful self? That is completely empty of all worth! Not only does it ring hollow, I have most of the current evangelical landscape as my defense as to why I should reject it wholeheartedly!

What is wrong with saying, “I am a sinner and hate my sinful heart and therefore look to Christ alone to be redeemed of it, irregardless of what I think of myself?” What is wrong with asking God to drive me to repent of every careless word and evil thought and to loathe the evil heart from whence it came? What is wrong with me expecting that my faith includes believing that Jesus has begun the process of eventual completed perfection right now, this very day, here on earth? In fact, how is it biblically correct if I do forgive myself? Didn’t David weep over his sin and state that a broken heart was a pleasing sacrifice to God? Wasn’t Paul a lamenter of his condition and the advocate of holiness as apart of faith? O, Wretched man that I am indeed! But thanks be to my Lord Jesus who has saved me from this body of death (Romans 7).

This invasion of doctrine concerning self-forgiveness, that comes in more flavors than a Baskin & Robbins, has been growing over the last century and is now taking its toll. It is the perfect example of the marriage between narcissism and faith. How am I feeling? How am I doing? Is this faith in Jesus really taking hold within me? Do I have the strength to obey? The mantra is I, I, I, not Christ, Christ, Christ, and it’s nothing less than a cover for self-exultation. Worse, we are asking advice from the very thing that is central to the problem at hand.

And it may come as news to you, but narcissism and faith are mutually exclusive. The former cares only of inward desires and its own condition the later concerns itself with the external things that look to Christ: loving God and loving others.

But for many of us, our desires for Christ are as dead as driftwood and yet we wonder, “Where is Jesus?” and “Why don’t I feel the Spirit?” When in fact, we are idolaters of the world and at the same time spiritual junkies looking for a quick spiritual fix as we resolve ourselves to a faith that sees Jesus only in terms of the gifts of God, rather than the worship the God himself by which these gifts then come.

This is not a call to abandon self-examination; it is a call to a true faith that is tested by it. By faith, we need to ask that Christ pull our perception of faith out of our own hands and cast it onto its proper place: on Jesus. So that as we live by faith we are continually suspicious of this heart that is desperately wicked and unknowable, but also in faith we do not learn to ignore our hearts - we learn to look beyond them.

For this is a substantial part of faith: trusting in Christ, in spite of your total lack of holiness, and believing that he will make you holy like he is holy. It is not, however, trusting in yourself because Christ has forgiven you from all sin, nor is it trusting yourself because you think you are freed from depending on him for everything the rest of your life.

But this kind of thinking and talk about holiness and obedience is tantamount to “crazy talk” these days. Never mind the warning passages of the Scriptures, we have got our theological “proof texts” that allow us to lay claim to salvation no matter how we live. Never mind the doctrines that deal with joy in living righteous under faith.

And I can hear the protests now: “Aren’t you made in the image of God?” Yes, I am. “Aren’t you fearfully and wonderfully made?” You bet.

But isn’t there room for self-loathing of that part that is not of God? Hating that part of us that is intrinsically wired into our very consciences and hearts, is that not a good thing for us to do? Why would I want love that part, whose very nature is to deceive me into thinking that I am loving God, when I am really just screaming blasphemy at him to my own blindness - yet to my heart’s primal delight. There certainly isn’t much of that kind of talk (let alone action from it) going on around Christendom today. For the most part, we hang our doctrines not on the fruits of true repentance, but on doctrines that tolerate, allow or fully support self-love. But coming to hate wickedness while living for the promise of righteousness, in Christ and by faith, is the Gospel. At the very least, that is a significant element of faith, and so please pardon me if I can’t bring myself to forgive myself.

Self-loathing is ever the companion of true repentance. The Lord will bring those whom he loveth, to adore him in self-abasement; while true grace will always lead them to confess their sins without self-justifying. -Matthew Henry, Commentary on Job 42,

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Things That Make You Go Hmmm?

So there is always something going on in our world that I don't agree with, or times that I would like to know, "What is that person thinking?" And every once in a while there will be a real slam-dinger. Where you stand there thinking, "was I abducted last night and taken to a far off planet, where everything is backwards?"

Well last night must have been that night, because this mornings news is rather disturbing. We'll start with this one. If you are caught FEEDING the HOMELESS in Dallas county you will be fined. That's right, you really did just read that. If I stop on the side of the road or under a bridge to feed a homeless lady and her children or the mentally handicapped guy, or the guy with no legs that rolls himself around in a wheelchair, I will be ticketed. Mrs Lora Miller seems to think that these people enjoy being homeless, and perhaps some of them do, but really its not like its an epidemic....there are not people on every street corner asking for a hand out. And quite frankly.....even if it is this big underground homeless peoples conspiracy to secretly take control of all the food sources of Dallas...who gives someone the right to tell me I cant give something to someone, especially food.

O.K. on to the next thing, Mrs Andrea Yates I don't understand, how someone who was caught red-handed is released from prison on a technicality?!? Now I am not debating this that or the other about this case or what she did or what she deserves, God will deal with that. I am speaking about our justice system. WHAT PLANET AM I ON?? She did it, what's the technicality in that? She has never denied it, yet we must make her attorneys prove that she did. I am lost, and when the next bus to Normalville comes through this part of town I want a one way ticket back!

I know what will make me feel beter, I'll just go sew something!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

So much to sew, and so little time.

I have a tendancy to jump into things head on. I will eat, drink and sleep things, no really I was dreaming about sewing last night. I have found a really awesome way to cheat at it to. Go into thrift stores and buy overalls, cut off the legs and add a skirt. Oh, it is tons of fun, and sorta instant gratification as you dont have to spend hours putting together the bodice. I have also taken some pant jumpers and cut the leg part off which left enough material to hem up a skirt. I am having a blast!

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

You Are a Self Help Book!

While your advice is not always welcome...
It's always right on target.

Why God Made MOMS

Why God made moms
Answers given by 2nd grade school children

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power
'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4.Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.
I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back of her head.
Oh that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever! Duet 5:29