I wanted to thank those of you who have been praying for me...please continue! I feel a measure of peace although I am fighting the anxiety. She will be here this evening after she gets off work. Wow, just writing that makes my heart race. Isnt that weird! I have been in some down right bad places in my life but never have I ever felt the way she makes me feel.
After some thought on Thursday morning, I asked the lord to make it very clear to me that I was supposed to let her stay here, if I heard nothing I was calling her up that evening and telling her I had reconsidered and just could not allow her to come.
I called my dh later that day after feeling very led to not allow her back and told him of my plans. He told me that we have to let her for two weeks, but no longer, simply because it is the right thing to do. So there it was *darnet* The Lord speaking to me through my dh that this was His will.
After quite a bit of sikeing (sp) myself up I realized a few things. There must be ground rules and boundaries.
The first being that she has ONLY 2 weeks and not one day longer, and beyond that, this will be her last time to stay here.
Secondly, she tends to spurt out the most hateful things (and feels its OK because the Bible says the tounge cannot be controled ???*what* ) Therefor for my safety spiritualy and mentally (and her physical safety LOL) She is not to say anything that is not uplifting and edifying to me. If she has a legitament complaint she is to hold her tongue and talk with Rob when he gets home and then he can talk with me.
Lastly, and this is the biggy and maybe a little harsh, but none the less important. She is not allowed alone with any of my oldest three children. After what she did to poor Devon I just can not allow it!
I am not making any special arrangments for her like I did last time, my life will go on as it needs to. Please PRAY! I will need it....she is a powerful adversary. The thing I struggle with the most is trying not to believe her lies. I know they are not true but it is still hard.
Everyone have a blessed weekend!