Monday, July 17, 2006

What to Do??

Have you ever just been in an impossible situation, where you just know that if you have to bear another day of it you will surly die. That has been my life in my home for the past 2 months. Many know that my mother (whom I really dont know) called unexpectadly and said that she needed a place to stay. In hind sight I should have said "I am very sorry, but that is not possible" But me being the ever so forgiving and helpful person that I am (like a sucker) said sure I suppose you can.

I have tried, I really have. But the thing about her is she lives in a different reality than most. A place where the devil is always after her. She never wants to let anyone know her business because they might curse her. This is a self proclaimed christian woman. But I am having a hard time finding the fruit. I have searched I really have. I want so much to believe that she is not some disfunctional person.
She has come into my home and told me how I should be and act and made reference to the "lie" that I am not as close to The Lord as she is. Or perhaps that I am not christian at all. Yet I look at her and think are you serious? Here you stand before me with nothing and no one at the age of 56. You have nothing! Oh I'm sorry I forgot it has nothing to do with your decisions in was all the devils doing. I know the devil lady. I also know that if you are under the blood of Jesus, the devil cannot touch you without The Lords permission or you opening the door and letting him in.

I cant really take much more of this! She had been givin 2 weeks to get herself together and move out, yet she cant keep a job. I feel sorry for her, that she cant find peace in her life. But I feel like she has stolen mine. Her very presence makes my spirit cringe. I have tried and given all that I can give, but I am a grown woman and this is my home and I need it to be a safe place for me and my family. It is not safe right now.

Am I wrong for saying such harsh things about the woman who gave birth to me? I dont know. I guess the Lord will let me know on judgment day, if I am right or wrong. But is it worth my peace to allow her to stay. Should my life be thrown out of wack, because she cant handle hers? She has been asked to leave and yet feels like she doesnt have to, due to the job situations. I didnt say if all works out according to your plans, you can leave in 2 weeks. I said you need to be out in 2 weeks. Yet here she stays. I guess I need a place to go for a few weeks until she is gone.

No comments:

Oh that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever! Duet 5:29