I am about halfway through a very wonderful book (so far) called The fruit of her hands written by Nancy Wilson. You can purchase it through Cannon Press. The chapter I just finished reading is titled Respect and Finances. Here is an excerpt:
Now I want to address a specific area in which women have trouble submitting. What if your husband fails to provide for you? What if you are hopelessly in debt, and he is not bringing home an adequate paycheck? There are several temptations you need to avoid in this situation.
First, do not seek to protect him from the consequences of his folly. Even though you may want the Lord to "wake him up", most wives do not want the Lord to be too rough on their husbands. We want to shield the blow, ease the hardship, or take on some resposibility ourselves. But this will only drag out the problem. You must allow the consequences to fall on his shoulders, no matter how hard it may be for you to watch. I am certainly not saying that you take a morbid delight in seeing your husband go through difficult times. Of course you must be a support and help and source of encouragment, but that is a completely different thing then trying to shoulder responsibilities that are not yours. When a wife tries to bear the responsibilities that her husband should be bearing, she suffers.
Have you ever been here? I know I have in the past. Your situation may not be as extreme as what is mentioned above, but it all boils down to the same thing. I think that a very real problem in this country and many others is that the man no longer has HIS place. The woman can do just as much, probably better. Society has taken away a mans role, resposibilities, place, status, headship ect. What is he left with? He is left a boy and can not grow fully into the man he is supposed to be. We as wives need to step back and allow our husbands to take their place in the home. Allow them to step up, maybe fall down...stand up again, wipe their scrapes off and become the awesome men God intends for them to be.