Tuesday, April 18, 2006

What peace, wisdom can bring

I wanted to share something that I read yesterday that touched me in such a profound way. We as humans are so emotional. We wrap our emotions around our situation and become very self absorbed...I know I can if I don't watch myself. But what about those things in life that we feel are so horrible that we are entitled to feel like we have been wronged. Such as loosing a child. I have never, praise the LORD lost a child and cant say how I would react if I ever did, but I hope that I could be as wise as Melissa, who lost her lovely son 45 minutes after his birth to a rare form of dwarfism. Below is the letter she wrote thanking everyone for their condolences and prayers.

Thank you everyone for your prayers. We need them! I just have to say that this was my personal "worst scenario." I love being a mother, I love my children and family more than anything and thought that if anything like this ever happened to me, I would physically die. I didnt. I am doing great. Mathew had a purpose and he fulfilled it. And being a mom is so much more than I thought it was. I WAS his mom for that short time. You CAN squeeze a lifetime of love in to a few moments. I was given alot of reading material about the grief I would feel. What bothered me the most is the references to how people became bitter about a lifetime of lost memories, as if you somehow deserve and are guaranteed a certain kind of life with your child. We get no such guarantees....not for a newborn, not for an adult child . I didn't lOSE this baby's lifetime of memories, they were never mine to begin with. His life story was written before he was ever conceived. All of ours are.

That was my very best birth. It was so precious, so special and beautiful. I have no regrets which is helpful when you are going through the grieving. I cry, but not out of regret, just out of the natural emotion of sadness we go through as our bodies grieve. It also helps because we took lots of pictures of Mathew and I could see how his little body was formed incorrectly. He didn't look scary to me, which I was really fearful of. He was perfect in his way and just so darn cute! I am so glad we got to see and hold him before he passed on.

So hug your children a little tighter today and remember that nothing....nothing happens in this world that GOD is not in control of. If we can be happy with whatever HE gives us for whatever amount of time HE gives it to us, that is pure peace....and true wisdom. Please pray for Melissa and her family. Thank you Melissa for showing me that we aren't entitled anything and that even if your time here is but a few minutes you were here for GODS purpose. What wisdom!

1 comment:

The Nelsons said...

Thanks for sharing that, Audrey! It is good to remember God is in control and it sure helps keep things in perspective.

Melissa (a different one)

Oh that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever! Duet 5:29